It's all relative

Men, do not get angry when I whinge about my weight, I am a woman, and it's my prerogative. 

If I am complaining about how fat I am, whilst eating a Dairy milk, do not point out the obvious - just shake your head and say 'you are perfect and you do not need to lose weight.' And then when I get angry at you 'because you have to say that', just say 'no, honestly you're normal size', and when I reply 'oh great so that means I am fat,' calmly reply 'look, if you were fat I would tell you'... etcetera. etcetera. That is your role in this whole farce - learn your lines, stick to them and never deviate from the script, as I am doing now..... oh yes, so, I worry about my weight.

Through travelling, something that I have found interesting, is the attitude of different people and places towards weight and image, and I have realised that, like many things, how you feel is just relative to your surroundings. Living in a Caribbean village in Costa Rica and now in Buenos Aires city, I have had two completely different environmental influences on the way I perceive myself.

Gallo Pinto - carb loading three times a day

There was certainly no pressure to look slim in Costa Rica. I quickly settled into the high carb diet of rice and beans (Gallo Pinto) with no guilt. Every other lady in the small village where I lived was on the 'plus side' - and did they care? They all wore tight Lycra shorts on a daily basis, of course they didn't care. I heard one woman once say 'I would like to lose a bit of weight', as the second helping of fried plantains and rice went down, but that was it. 

The lady who I lived with was very conscious of this 'western trend not to eat' and would try her utmost to feed me. Convinced I wasn't eating, I often had two lunches – one I ate myself and one I was forced to eat because she didn't believe I had eaten the first one. If I told her I wasn't hungry, she'd look confused - 'How? What do you mean? Why? Are u Ok?'
I once bought wholemeal bread from a nearby town, she saw me eating it and when I told her what it was she asked to try it. She took one mouthful, made a dramatic look of disgust and told me it wasn't real food. She then proceeded to tell every woman who came round about 'the incident' and they all lectured me about how bad it was to eat that kind of food. At one point, five of them circled me, asking questions in an interrogative manner - 'Do they eat this in England? Are all the girls thin? Why don't you eat rice everyday, is it because you think it's (laugh) fattening?!' They were highly amused at the thought of us eating this 'healthy food' and wasting our time on 'diets'. 
Oh yes, I was being mocked for eating wholemeal.

Peoples attitude to weight was a complete shock to me as well. As the months past, I was often told I had put on weight or was looking fat ('refreshingly honest'?... no. I side with the other cliche - 'ignorance is bliss') but it wasn't meant in an insulting way. A typical conversation could go... 

'Hi, haven't seen you in ages! How are you?'

'I'm fine thanks. You're looking a bit fat.'


A social no no in the UK which would merit a slap, but in Costa Rica it seemed like a way of saying 'oh you look well.'
I gradually got used to it but many visitors would drop their jaw in horror ('did he just say the F word?!')
Did I feel fat? Well, I knew I had put on weight (the drawstring never lies) but I didn't mind because relative to the other women I was still thinner, so I was happy.

Well now I am back in the city and the way I feel about myself has completely changed. Do I still feel slim compared to other women? Hell no - the Argentinians are svelt. And I do not know how they do it. As soon as I stepped off the plane, a giant Empanada greeted me with a sign saying - 'Welcome home Miss Batho.' 
I decided to ask a group of local women how they all kept so trim, expecting that usual, annoying lie of 'we workout and eat healthy', but no, they were straight to the point. 'Oh we don't eat, we just drink coffee and smoke.' I have seen this diet before in many European countries, it's the  'screw health, I just want cracking thighs' attitude. 

Americas Next Top Model is another example which demonstrates how your size is just relative to the people you are with. I have problems with the way the models are described. Every time that Tyra says 'Because you are a curvy girl...', the doughnut hits the screen. No, no, no Tyra you CANNOT have that word, that word was designed specifically for real girls with wobbly love handles, as a way of describing their physique.That is OUR euphemism.
(Man - 'she's a bit fat', Woman - 'no, she's cuuuuurvy.')
Just because a model is a size 2 instead of a size 0, does not give her the right to use that word. It was invented for us. Come on now, play fair.

So the message of this blog? Don't waste your time and money on diets, gyms, fads.... save your pennies, buy plane tickets for you and everyone who is a significant part of your life (this may cost, but it'll be worth it) and relocate to a country where the big ladies are the winners. Easy. 

Too far Tyra, just too far.

OK image chat over.

Don´t flatter yourself (go to Central America and they'll do it for you)

Anyone who has travelled Central or South America has been there... "Que guapa....oh linda... que ojos....preciosa..."

Wherever I go in Latin America, for some reason I am always considered more attractive just because I am a 'gringa'. No matter how beautiful the local women are, and some of the women I have seen are textbook beauties, many Latino men find European looking girls with fairer features attractive, regardless of how these women would be rated in their own country (my nice way of saying 'regardless of whether they are a moose or not').

In Costa Rica, it began as a massive ego boost– and I actually enjoyed the compliments* - lured into a false sense of attractiveness, for a second I started thinking -  maybe I am just really, really god damn good looking? Then, my traveling indifference to appearance set in, I started wearing no make up, not brushing my hair, and wearing unflattering sweat stained travelers clothes.... and the compliments kept on coming...hmmm.  I started to suspect it was not because of what I looked like but more about where I was from.

Was my sexy foreign accent doing it? In my head, when I spoke Spanish, there was a chance I sounded like  'ze sexy french gurl aspeakin english' but when I put this to my Spanish speaking friends – they just laughed. I guess not.

So why do us 'gringas' receive so much attention?

Lets get Biological. I once read an article that said sexual dimorphism may play a role in why foreigners appear more attractive. Sexual dimorphism is the physical difference between males and females of the same species and it can influence mating choice. In dimorphic species, males that possess the more opposing traits to the female – e.g larger size, more colourful feathers, bigger horns etc.are the more attractive, as they represent greater fitness (think peacock tail - the brighter the better). Foreign woman are physically more 'different' in regards to hair colour, eye colour etc. – could this be why they are more attractive? It´s a slightly odd theory with some major problems, and sexual dimorphism in humans is a controversial topic anywhooo so I'll leave that one there. Just some food for thought.

Is it cultural perception? Men are going to find attractive what is deemed attractive by their society and for some cultures this may be something unique like small feet (China). Perhaps the influence of western media in some Latin American countries has changed many societies perception of what an attractive woman is, and those who are 'physically similar' (e.g. eye colour and skin colour) to the big Hollywood beauties like Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz, are thus considered attractive, regardless of whether they have a face like a horses behind or not. In Costa Rica I was often compared to celebrities I look nothing like, simply because we share white skin and the local people were only used to seeing that on the TV.

Another reason we may get so many compliments is because of what a travelling white girl represents to a lot of people, which, lets face it, is money. No doubt this is very attractive to a lot of men looking for an English sugar mama, and perhaps they think complimenting is a good way to get you interested. Flattery will get you n where hombres.

Am I thinking about this too much and is it the simple fact that many men give us gringas attention because we have a reputation for being easy...? Probably.

There is also the fact that Latino men are far more passionate and honest about their feelings -endearing at times, comic at others. Perhaps they aren't being pervy when they tell you how pretty you are, this is just how they are wired. However, I do feel there is most definitely a line. The other day, whilst walking down the street, I was rated by an old man. Yes thats right- he shouted out a mark out of 10 like I was on the cat walk - and this guy was the older side of 60 (I won't tell you what mark I got - lets just say, from an old perv, it could have been better).

How to react when you do get complimented? One of my friends laughs, another one gets scarily defensive and shouts back– normally something like 'get lost you pervert' (this is when I start running). I just roll my eyes with the routine 'oh god you are soooo annoying' look, but secretly stash the compliment away for when I'm having a fat day.

Diaz and me - yep we're practically sisters

(*I use compliment in the pervy sense of the word - perhaps leer/harassment would be more appropriate)

Fish have gills for a reason

Last weekend my friend Luke and I decided to head to Tigre, a renowned tourist hot spot here in Buenos Aires recommended by a lot of the locals – ‘its beautiful, go there to get away from the city’… so after a quick look at some websites about Tigre we decided to go, and head off with preconceived ideas of luscious greenery, elegant architecture, and clear waters. Stepping out the train station, the place seemed quite pleasant – not exactly what we were expecting- the greenery was limited, but quite pretty… and then we stepped onto the bridge just outside the station, and took a look into the River Tigre… this Tigre was a hungry kitty and by the looks of things had been snacking on fish, a lot of fish.

Tigre - a privileged place...

Now, the photos I have taken in no way do justice to what we saw (taking pictures of fish is hard FYI), looking over the railings you could see a spread of dead fish floating at the river surface, many washed to the sides, thus easier for us to enjoy. Any fish that were alive were at the surface breathing – looking like they were gasping for breath. It was very apparent that there was not enough oxygen available for them to breath under the water – probably due to contamination. Fish have gills for a reason.

The most shocking thing however was not the dead fish per se but the reaction of the local people – the juxtaposition of happy families enjoying the scenery from a river boat whilst beneath them hundreds of fish were dying, or the elite rower wearing his club crest proudly as he hit a limp fish with his blade, was very strange. I felt an injustice for those helpless fish, gasping for their last breath whilst we were exploiting their habitat. Every one has seen a polluted river but you rarely see the direct affects like this.

On top of this, a walk further up the river showed people fishing? Seems a bit like cheating to me – but good luck to them if they’re brave enough to eat anything that comes from that river.

Thinking that perhaps this was an abnormal scene in Tigre and some freak event had caused all these deaths, I asked a local policeman why there were so many dead fish in the river. He replied with a common nonchalant response – the river is really contaminated and no one does anything about it – oh ok then.

Fish + fuel leak = unhappy fish(dead)

Given that not many people feel as sentimental towards fish as I do – the fish are just a mere indication of how polluted the river is which in turn can have detrimental affects on the health of the people that live there.

Tigre is located on the Parana Delta and the Tigre river is a tributary of the Rio Reconquista. A quick google search proves very interesting, many scientific papers reporting that the river is ’supercritical’ and one of the most contaminated rivers in Argentina. According to many of the studies, there are high levels of ‘POPs’ (persistent organic pollutants) which can cause adverse health affects in people such as allergies, breathing problems and even death.

How did these pollutants end up in the river? The increase in population around the area has led to an increase in industry and therefore the amount of industrial waste discharged into the river. In some places the industrial waste toxicity is 10 times higher than it should be. What are the authorities doing about the problem? Nada. There are inadequate regulations for waste treatment and industries have no- one stopping them discarding waste into the river.

Interestingly, many papers report that in times of economic recession, the river has shown signs of recovery, presumably due to the decrease in industry… bad times for the people, good times for the fishies….

One scientific paper I found wrote this – ‘the idea that rivers are a convenient means of cleaning and carrying pollution away from the discharge point should be urgently reconsidered worldwide in order to protect water quality, ecosystems and human health.’ Well said.

Dead fish at the bottom of the steps

What we are seeing is something that we can see in most cities but even more so here in Buenos Aires, environmental problems taking a back seat.